Does He Really Care about Apples?

I have struggled getting back into my writing groove since the holidays.  So much tends to keep me preoccupied with other things... like life.  Homeschooling my children, grocery shopping, budgeting and seeing how much money I can't spend.

It was a little disconcerting this morning.  I went to the store with my two helpers and I had a list of items I "had" to get for food and was under orders by my Beloved to spend no more than $50.  I thought No problem.  My list isnt' that long.  The thing is... I failed to think of how many of each item I was going to purchase.  After buying three orange juices (since my boys guzzle it down so quickly), two cereals, two canned mushrooms, a bag of chocolate chips (for those cookies we're going to make), two bags of Doritos, two packages of butter, salad dressing, two loaves of bread and some fishy crackers for the boys, I had used up all my allotted money.

I had picked out some yarn for the new afghan I wanted to make (three skeins at $2.88 each) and a booklet of some patterns since I'm still new to the world of crotcheting and need some help.  I put those back since they weren't part of my necessities.

But then, I realized Jonah was still holding onto the bag of 4 apples he had picked out.  He is on an apple craze.  My money was run out.  I promised my Beloved that I wouldn't go over $50.  I already used the $10 in cash that I got from selling an item on Craigslist just that morning on a birthday present.

I couldn't take those apples away from Jonah.  He was so excited while picking them out.  He sniffed and kissed each one before putting them in the bag.

Since I had already paid for everything by the time I found out about those apples, I can't believe I seriously thought about just "forgetting" they were there and walking out of the store with them.  I can't do that!  I'm supposed to be a Christian.  But I DO NOT want to take them away from my child.  He deserves to have his apples.

I went to the woman who oversees all the "self checkout" items and told her about my oversight on the apples.  I told her that maybe I could pay for them with the change in my wallet.  Two quarters, several dimes, and about ten pennies.  Maybe a nickel was thrown in there for good measure.  All four apples rang up as only $1.88.  Whooo!  I should be able to afford that.  Right?  After counting up my change ("Sorry, Jeremiah.  You won't be getting your allowance this week"), I had a little over one dollar.  I asked her to take out two of those smelled and kissed apples, and I had just enough to cover it.

I HATE MONEY.  All it does is show you what you're not able to afford, even when it is a good thing for  your child.  Jeremiah saw the yarn he helped me pick out discarded on the table beside the checkout counter and asked me why I wasn't getting it.  Trying to explain... Food is way more important than buying yarn.

I don't have a moral to this story.  This is my heartache right now.  Maybe I'm just being too emotional for other reasons.  I have never had to count pennies and take something out of my cart before.  This isn't about my ego or pride.  The only thing I want (and I know it is the same desire of my Beloved) is to provide for my family all the good and healthy and fun things in life.  It shouldn't be this difficult.

Reminder:  God will provide all we need.

I guess we only needed two apples today.  And we will get more of what we need tomorrow.  And the day after that.  For all the days of our life.

Until next time, remember that God loves you and is always near.

A Week of Thanksgiving

Last week, we were in Pennsylvania celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with my Beloved's family.  Yes, the trip there is always a bit strenuous because when you cramp two boys (it cannot be two girls, nor a mix) with limited toys and books with blankets, coats, hats mittens and pillows in a small-sized "family" car (which is what my Beloved had in mind when he purchased this abomination of a Saturn... not that all Saturns are abominations, of course) for 16+ hours, it is bound to get interesting.

This is the first year, since having children, that I feel like I actually relaxed and had an enjoyable time... the entire time.  My lack of ease had nothing to do with my in-laws (or, at least, very little), but moreso the lack of scheduling for naps and feeding is far more dire when dealing with children under 3 years old.  Now that my monsters are older, they coped much better... and so did I.

My favorite part (or one of the favorites) is talking with my mother-in-law.  How many women do you know that would actually call their spouse's mother to talk about his imperfections?  Hmmm... that's risky behavior.  And, yet, I am blessed enough to have someone who can divorce herself from the fact that she birthed and reared this man and can give me good, solid advice and counsel when dealing with his imperfections (the very few that there are).  During our week-long vacation, we always get some time to talk about life, raising children, marriage and family issues.  She is such an encouragement to me.

This trip, my boys got to go with Nana and Poppy all by themselves on an adventure to Chocolate World at Hershey Park.  Oh, boy.  They are still reminiscing about the singing cows and how much fun it was eating chocolate and getting matching soccerballs.  Talk about spoiling the boys!

After this wonderful week away, we had to pile back into the cartrap and endure another 16+ hours back home where I listened to my son continue asking (as he had all the way there), "Why does it take so long?"  But, he said he wants to go back to Nana and Poppy's next weekend, so the trip must not have been too terrible.

I am thankful:
-for my husband's family (and they are now my family)
-for my two monsters
-that my husband has promised to love me even when I am unlovely (there was some of that on our trip)
-that my sweet puppy was well-cared for while we were gone
-for the blessings of presents and things that make us happy (I have two hand-crafted, by my m-i-l, hanging flower baskets for my front porch)
-for our safety in traveling
-that we got to have breakfast at Cracker Barrel (normally we stop at a small diner with food that sits heavy in your stomach)

Well, I think I'm finished for today.

Until next time, continue your thankful attitude through Hanukkah and Christmas and any other holidays you have that make you crazy.

Extraordinary Women

This past weekend I went to Illinois to attend a conference by Extraordinary Women.  It has been over 2 years since I last left my family (now consisting of two boy-children and husband and Opie, the beagle puppy) to get "space", "Me Time" and regain perspective on my plight as a stay-at-home mom who homeschools, teaches piano, has piles of clean laundry for months that never gets folded and is always striving to do better.

This type of conference is really not my preference.  It was held at a stadium and felt so sterile and commercialized that it was difficult to enjoy or relax.  Part of the reason I don't appreciate such large venues is that I have had trouble, in my past, with agoraphobia and severe anxiety in large crowds.  It didn't seem to matter how much space I allowed for myself, having a pocket of emptiness... women kept bumping me with their hips.  It confused me that they had at least 10 feet on either side of me and they HAD to touch me in the process of whatever they were trying to accomplish. 

--"Back off, lady!"  So, I'm the round, dumpy lady wearing jeans that drag on the ground and a pumpkin orange-and-white striped sweater glaring at women standing too closely.--

Alright, back to my lofty thoughts.  The weekend was profitable, however uncomfortable it was in the moment.

A couple of the speakers were certainly well worth hearing... Elisa Morgan and Ann Voskamp (author of One Thousand Blessings), specifically, as well as being able to collect a couple of resources by Sheri Rose Shepherd about raising boys.  Since I have two sons (alternately Spiderman, Batman, Superman or any other kind of MAN), she had a refreshing book about God's little warriors that covers some basic life situations that my 4-year old is encountering now that he has a social life at school.  It also has prayers for each section which will allow him to become more comfortable and familiar with praying about anything and everything (another concern of mine).  The other book was about Raising Future Husbands (or some similar title).  I am waiting for it to come in the mail... so when I get it, we will have a book review.

All in all, not a complete waste of time; but I still prefer smaller women's conferences where you actually open your Bible and study.

Until next time, be a woman of prayer and supplication with THANKSGIVING!