Choices

That title is so vague, this could be about anything.  It was funny, though, because my son brought home a magazine from his teacher.  I guess, that in itself isn't that funny; but the fact that it is a parenting magazine made it more so.  And also the fact that his teacher is a young lady (yes, quite young), doesn't have children and isn't married made it just hilarious.  Some of the articles sound interesting, like -- just from the cover -- Toddler Agression (since my Jonah is right at that age) and The Truth About Lying (since we've been dealing with that in Jeremiah lately); but as I was flipping through the pages, some "expert advice" jumped out at me.

The picture immediately caught my eye because it is an explicit photo of a woman breastfeeding a child.  And right next to it in bolded capital letters it says "YOUR CHOICE".  Naturally, I jumped back to all the old feelings I had when I was pregnant with my first child, hearing all the advice and observing those quintissential mothers with 20 children (you know who I mean.. you know at least one) and always has one hanging on her wherever you see her.  Breast is best.  Well, duh.. of course I know that the way God made a woman would be the best way to feed her child rather than the processed foods provided by our government and large chain grocery stores.  But what a way to set a woman up.

In this article, the next thing that caught my eye is that it was written by a man.  Hahaha!  A man.  What the heck would he know.  I don't care that he's a doctor.  The last person I want assuring me that it's "okay to choose not to breastfeed my child" would be a man.  What does he know about the pecking order of women?  Does he understand the burning desire of a woman to do the "right thing" for her child?  And does he know of the feelings of ultimate failure when she can't deliver?  No, probably not.  Even if he were the most sensitive, empathetic man in the universe... he could not possibly understand what a hormonal, post-partum women feels in those situations.

This expert advice column was merely touting all the benefits breastmilk gives a newborn.  We already know all that stuff and then it has a couple of short paragraphs discussing why it might be difficult for a woman to breastfeed and her concern about not being able to bond with her child as a result.  But never fear, the man says it is still possible even "for those who choose to bottle feed".  Phew!  What a relief.

As a seasoned mother of two, I had a lot of anxiety about not producing milk and not "loving" to breastfeed.  I didn't like it.  I didn't want to do it.  Rather than being in pain with my child in my arms, I'd much rather throw the hated pump at the wall and be angry at "it" rather than my baby.  I had post-partum depression for the entire first year of my firstborn.  I was medicated for the first year of my second-born.  It can help.  But it certainly doesn't mean you're less of a woman or less of a mother for being stretched beyond yourself, being overwhelmed by everything going on in your house, not feeling able to leave without falling apart, or not producing that "life-giving milk that helps your children's immune systems and brain development".  I guess that is why my second child is a little more dense and sickly?  Sheesh.  I might as well hand in my mother card right now.

There is no wrong way.  I had to learn that after I became a mother.  You make choices.  You see the result.  If you don't like it, switch it up.  Then again, it may not change much.  :-)  Isn't that a relief?

Well, my children are causing ruckuses upstairs.  I guess it's because I didn't have enough milk to give them.  I better just fix the situation by throwing them in bed.

Until next time... consider all the ways you are valuable to your family.  Trust me, breastfeeding won't be one of the ways.