Preparing Him for the Other Woman by Sheri Rose Shepherd

While I was pregnant, after being married to my Beloved for six months (and only having known him for six months prior to that), I realized I wasn't ready to be a mother.  Well, actually, I knew that before I got pregnant, but that is part of what happens when you compromise during marriage.  I couldn't pray for a certain gender, I could only pray I wouldn't mess up my child.  I knew, from experience, the power a mother has on her children... especially a mother who stays at home full-time and homeschools.

The first several months after my son was born were extremely difficult.  I was struggling through post-partum depression without the help of medication.  I couldn't bond with my child.  There was nothing about motherhood that pleased me.  I didn't like breastfeeding.  I wasn't getting any sleep.  I couldn't understand why all the other mothers I saw and spoke to expressed joy about this "job" of being a mother.

Then my son started smiling when he saw me.  He started talking to me.  He wanted to play games.  He preferred me to his Daddy.  Only I could get him to stop crying and comfort him.  He was the quintessential Mama's boy (and still is).

Then I got pregnant again.  I fervently prayed for another boy.  I knew two boys could only quadruple the fun I was having with Jeremiah.  But Jonah... my sweet Jonah.  He is the opposite of his brother.  He is rough and tumble, wrestle and yell, Daddy's boy all the way.  He has just begun to realize, though, the importance of Mommy and is giving kisses and hugs now.

This just shows the importance of a mother's role in the lives of her children.  The way my husband treats me is indicative of how his parents raised him.  How I raise my boys is how they will treat their wives and children, also.  Everything is passed down.

My oldest son (as I am sure every mother has experienced) asked me if I could marry him.  I told him that, unfortunately, I couldn't since I was already married to his Daddy.  I explained that when he got older, he would find a nice girl that he loved and he would get to marry her and have his own house and children with her.  But when I saw his eyes tearing up and his lip trembling, I quickly added that it wouldn't happen for a really long time and only when he was ready.

Oh, the tender hearts of our boys.  They aren't men, yet.  We are training them up to be men.  Courageous and strong.  Adventurous and bold.  But also tenderhearted and loving.

How do we teach them all these important characteristics?

The book I have been reading by Sheri Rose Shepherd called "Preparing Him for the Other Woman" gives a lot of suggestions on how to build character and prepare them for marriage.

The introduction explains the commodity of men fighting for their families.  The epidemic of divorce in our society only proves that people (men and women, both) do not know the meaning of "till death do us part".  They have not been taught how to work together and MAKE their marriage work.  How to compromise.  How to understand and communicate with their spouse.

We need to teach our boys what a "real man" is.  In a world where boys grow up having a relationship with their video games, ipods, televisions and computers... where does family come in?  Even pornography is no longer such a dirty secret that embroils shame.  It is a coming of age ritual and entertainment.

Our boys need to have a role model (preferably, their fathers) that stands against immorality and infidelity.  Someone who will live a godly, self-controled life who is a strong and loving leader.

There is more to come in this excellent book.

Until next time, pray for your sons.  Pray that you and your husband (or another role model) will provide  your son with a good example.

Showing Love

"If I belittle those whom I am called to serve,

 talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points;

if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting 'who made thee to differ?

and what hast thou that thou hast not received?'

then I know nothing of Calvary love."

--Amy Carmichael

Of course I've never done this... right, let's be honest.  I'm sure I could accuse myself of having a superior attitude because I'm not in the same position as others.  And also talked about people and their situations, not to belittle, but to puzzle over and analyze.  Of course, in my immature days there may have been some snooty comments to myself (since I really didn't have friends).  But who made me so special?  Why did I escape certain snares and consequences.  I am by no means a saint and yet I can say with certainty that God protected me from myself during a particular time in my life.

I was talking to my 4-year-old just this morning about consequences.  We were reading about Moses and the children of Israel and how they didn't believe that God would protect them when trying to enter the Promised Land.  Because they didn't believe, their consequence was not being allowed to enter and they had to wander in the wilderness until they died off.  Of course, my son made the jump that if we disobey, God will leave us.  Not exactly what I was trying to imply.

Regardless of my inept Mommy Moments, there is an understanding of our complete and utter humanity before God.  You are no better than me and I am no better than the homeless person down the street (actually, we don't have any homeless in our town; but that's beside the point).  We are all children of God and made in His image.  It doesn't matter what we do, we are all sinners and in need of His saving grace in our lives.

My son just started Awana and is learning some verses in his Cubbies book, grossly shortened but still makes the point. Romans 3:23 "All have sinned."  Who has sinned, Jeremiah?  YOU!  Yes, I have sinned... but have you sinned, too?  Yes.  What does "all" mean?  Everyone.  So... all people have sinned?  Yes.

Romans 5:8 "While we were sinners, Christ died for us."  Pretty explanatory, I suppose.  Since we're all guilty of sin, we understand that while we were still wallowing in it (our sin, that is), Christ died for us.  Okay... so why did He die?  From old age?  No.  Christ died because it says in Romans 6:23 That "the wages (price/cost) of sin is death."  Are we all going to have to pay for our own sin?  That's how it was meant to work.  Are we capable of paying for our sin? Yes... which is why there is a place called Hell where we would be separated from God forever.

The whole point of Christ's death was that He was a sinless payment.  He only had to shed His blood once in order to cover everyone's sin.  If we believe on Him, that he died for us and rose from the dead, we will be looked on as sinless also.  Standing before God on Judgment Day, God will not see us... but Jesus who stands before us and His sinlessness.  We are not worthy on our own... only worthy because of who has loved us and shed His blood for us.

Okay, that post took a turn... but I guess it needed to be said.

Until next time... look around you and see everyone (undesirables and desirables, alike) as God does... as sinners in need of a Savior, and treat them accordingly.  And share the good news, too!

Compassionate Living

"If I have not compassion on my fellowservant, even as my Lord had pity on me, then I know nothing of Calvary love." --Amy Carmichael

Who is my fellowservant?  Is it like defining what Jesus meant when He said "love your neighbor"?  After looking up "fellow" in the concordance of my Bible, I see a link between all the places it refers to fellows... from servants to workers and citizens.  Fellow must mean everyone around me.  And, of course, servant probably means what it says.  People who serve.  Though, does it mean I have to include everyone, or just those I think are actually serving?  Okay, let's be exclusive and say that it is only within the church... your church.  It excludes all those other people who don't know Christ and His commandments to serve and even all those other churches you don't attend.  But what we have left is still quite a few people.

Do you always love and enjoy the people in your church?  Do you always agree?  Do you feel that they appreciate you?  Do you think they are doing the best they can for the Lord or are they just slacking?  Is there just that person who rubs you the wrong way and you just can't seem to bond?  And is it your place to judge?  There are so many people in the church.  Not all of them can be as kind and gentle, service-oriented and humble, nor have such a winning personality as myself.

With all I see (or judge), is my opinion valid?  Should I not have "my rights"?  It doesn't even necessarily have to be a sin issue, but, as we hear in the entertainment industry "Creative Differences".  I think the apostle Paul had the right attitude.  In 1 Corinthians 9, he is talking about serving all men in whatever state he finds them.  To the rich, poor, servant and master, Jews or gentiles, mature or immature, he has "become all things to all men."  Now, just so you know, this is not talking about service within the church, but ministry for the sake of preaching the gospel so others might be saved.  But I do believe that we can take that attitude and apply it within the church also because didn't we all used to be unsaved, too?  We are still the people we were, merely with the covering of God's grace in our lives.  We still have our sinful nature and sometimes we are not as holy in God's house as we ought to be.

It doesn't matter if someone looks down on me because I don't feel my calling is in teaching children's Sunday School.  I know my gifts and talents.  As long as I am using them for His glory, it doesn't matter what anyone else says to me.  If they say something offensive to me, I can forgive them.  Because I was also forgiven.  Are you going to allow one bad attitude to become a divisive influence in the church or are you going to sweetly let it go because in the grand scheme of God's plan for His bride, the church, it really doesn't matter a one bit whether you bake cakes or clean the church during the week.  God created each person to have a function.  Are you performing yours?

If you are living your life in a way that showcases God, glory in the fact that your fellow servant is doing the same and realize that you are both equals in the sight of Him who created you.  Let all the spiteful judgements go and keep doing  your best to live at peace with all.

Until next time, use your gifts.  Be content with how God made you.  And have compassion.

"If" by Amy Carmichael (published in 1938 by SPCK, London)

Back in junior high, I was introduced to this dynamic woman.. long dead, but still so relevant and needful in aiming toward my goal, that is, to be a godly woman and to always keep my mind on heaven and strive to show God's amazing love to those around me.

Amy wrote a book called "If" and I received a copy as a Christmas present over 15 years ago and I still have it.  Being nostalgic, I took it off my dusty shelf to see if I could find the same conviction in these pages as I did when I was 17.

Here is the introduction:

"There are times when something comes into our lives which is charged with love in such a way that it seems to open the Eternal to us for a moment, or at least some of the Eternal Things, and the greatest of these is love.

It may be a small and intimate touch upon us or our affairs, light as the touch of the dawnwind on the leaves of the tree, something not to be captured and told to another in words.  But we know that it is our Lord.  And then perhaps the room where we are, with its furniture and books and flowers, seems less "present" than His Presence, and the heart is drawn into that sweetness of which the old hymn sings.

The love of Jesus, what it is

None but His loved ones know.

Or it is the dear human love about us that bathes us as in summer seas and rests us through and through.  Can we ever cease to wonder at the love of our companions?  And then suddenly we recognize our Lord in them.  It is His love that they lavish upon us.  O Love of God made manifest in Thy lovers, we worship Thee.

Or (not often, perhaps, for the dimness seems to be more wholesome for us here, but sometimes, because our Lord is very merciful) it is given to us to look up through the blue air and see the love of God.  And yet, after all, how little we see! "That ye may be able to comprehend what is the breadth and length and depth and height and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge"--the words are too great for us.  What do we comprehend, what do we know? Confounded and abased, we enter into the Rock and hide us in the dust before the glory of the Majesty of love--the love whose symbol is the cross.

And a question pierces then: What do I know of Calvary love?"

The inspiration of this book came when one of Amy's fellow workers brought a problem about a younger person who was "missing the way of Love." Initially, it brought self-reflection on her own heart, "Lord, is it I? Have I failed her anywhere?  What do I know of Calvary Love?" Hence, the "ifs" came, as if spoken in the inward ear.  These "ifs" are related to pride, selfishness, and cowardice, but also digs deeper to the soul's knowledge of the love God shown at Calvary.