Monday, January 2, 2012

Preparing Him for the Other Woman by Sheri Rose Shepherd

While I was pregnant, after being married to my Beloved for six months (and only having known him for six months prior to that), I realized I wasn't ready to be a mother.  Well, actually, I knew that before I got pregnant, but that is part of what happens when you compromise during marriage.  I couldn't pray for a certain gender, I could only pray I wouldn't mess up my child.  I knew, from experience, the power a mother has on her children... especially a mother who stays at home full-time and homeschools.

The first several months after my son was born were extremely difficult.  I was struggling through post-partum depression without the help of medication.  I couldn't bond with my child.  There was nothing about motherhood that pleased me.  I didn't like breastfeeding.  I wasn't getting any sleep.  I couldn't understand why all the other mothers I saw and spoke to expressed joy about this "job" of being a mother.

Then my son started smiling when he saw me.  He started talking to me.  He wanted to play games.  He preferred me to his Daddy.  Only I could get him to stop crying and comfort him.  He was the quintessential Mama's boy (and still is).

Then I got pregnant again.  I fervently prayed for another boy.  I knew two boys could only quadruple the fun I was having with Jeremiah.  But Jonah... my sweet Jonah.  He is the opposite of his brother.  He is rough and tumble, wrestle and yell, Daddy's boy all the way.  He has just begun to realize, though, the importance of Mommy and is giving kisses and hugs now.

This just shows the importance of a mother's role in the lives of her children.  The way my husband treats me is indicative of how his parents raised him.  How I raise my boys is how they will treat their wives and children, also.  Everything is passed down.

My oldest son (as I am sure every mother has experienced) asked me if I could marry him.  I told him that, unfortunately, I couldn't since I was already married to his Daddy.  I explained that when he got older, he would find a nice girl that he loved and he would get to marry her and have his own house and children with her.  But when I saw his eyes tearing up and his lip trembling, I quickly added that it wouldn't happen for a really long time and only when he was ready.

Oh, the tender hearts of our boys.  They aren't men, yet.  We are training them up to be men.  Courageous and strong.  Adventurous and bold.  But also tenderhearted and loving.

How do we teach them all these important characteristics?

The book I have been reading by Sheri Rose Shepherd called "Preparing Him for the Other Woman" gives a lot of suggestions on how to build character and prepare them for marriage.

The introduction explains the commodity of men fighting for their families.  The epidemic of divorce in our society only proves that people (men and women, both) do not know the meaning of "till death do us part".  They have not been taught how to work together and MAKE their marriage work.  How to compromise.  How to understand and communicate with their spouse.

We need to teach our boys what a "real man" is.  In a world where boys grow up having a relationship with their video games, ipods, televisions and computers... where does family come in?  Even pornography is no longer such a dirty secret that embroils shame.  It is a coming of age ritual and entertainment.

Our boys need to have a role model (preferably, their fathers) that stands against immorality and infidelity.  Someone who will live a godly, self-controled life who is a strong and loving leader.

There is more to come in this excellent book.

Until next time, pray for your sons.  Pray that you and your husband (or another role model) will provide  your son with a good example.

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